Enhancing Intercourse
(Excerpt from: Sacred Sexuality–A Manual for Living Bliss by: Michael Mirdad)

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Healing Techniques

Ten Sets of Nine

The “Sets-of-Nine” exercise is a well-known Taoist technique designed to aid in developing concentration and maintaining an erection. To prepare, make sure both partners are in comfortable positions where the male can easily control the depth of his thrusts. Then, the male slides his lingam into the woman’s yoni with varying deep and shallow thrusts but always totaling ten with each set. Altogether there are nine sets of ten strokes, which are practiced as follows:

STEP 1: Insert only the head of the lingam into the yoni. Then withdraw (the first shallow stroke). Repeat these shallow strokes nine times total, and then on the tenth stroke, carefully thrust the entire lingam into the yoni at once (the first deep stroke).
STEP 2: Follow with eight shallow strokes (only head of lingam) and two deep strokes (entire lingam).
STEP 3: Do seven shallow and three deep strokes.
STEP 4: Do six shallow and four deep strokes.
STEP 5: Do five shallow and five deep strokes.
STEP 6: Do four shallow and six deep strokes.
STEP 7: Do three shallow and seven deep strokes.
STEP 8: Do two shallow and eight deep strokes.
STEP 9: Finally, do one shallow followed by nine deep strokes.

Helping Your Partner Orgasm During Intercourse

It is possible to heighten the sensations in a woman’s yoni, thus increasing her ability to orgasm through intercourse-even without stimulation to the clitoris. There are numerous techniques that assist a woman in having an orgasm during intercourse. First of all, it’s crucial that a woman trusts her partner. Second, a woman should relax all of the muscles and tissue within her yoni and body-especially those within the inner vaginal canal. When a woman becomes aroused, she usually tenses the perineum muscle and surrounding pelvic region, causing her vaginal wall to balloon outward. This tensing contracts, or pulls up, the perineum muscle. To reverse the urge to tense or contract, she should push down and out for a moment (with the same muscles she uses for urinating). During intercourse, this act of pushing down collapses the balloon effect, creating a tighter fit of the yoni for the lingam. Third, if all else fails, a woman (or her partner) can stimulate her own clitoris manually during intercourse.

If there are continuing problems with your partner reaching orgasm during intercourse, it can mean his or her genitals need awakening. In that case, it helps to see your partner as a man or woman whose orgasm is like a shyness or inhibition that needs to be patiently encouraged to come forward. It’s essential to practice drawing the resistant energy out from deep within the yoni or from the roots of the lingam. When a man notices a high level of arousal in his lover, for instance, instead of thrusting to get her to cum, he should do the opposite. He should focus on a passionate outward stroke, rather than the inward thrust. At the same time, he should imagine that he is physically and energetically drawing out her orgasm. The woman, on the other hand, who finds her partner incapable of reaching an orgasm should first gain his trust and cooperation. He must agree to release all goals, as well as fears and thoughts of failure. Then she
can take her time and playfully explore every inch of his sexual anatomy, as she searches for his most erogenous zones. Once she discovers his area of vulnerability, she can tease and titillate him, all the while demonstrating her own arousal. Her sexual excitement will often give him permission to release and experience an orgasm.

Some couples find it helpful to create a connection between different parts of the sexual anatomy. To create an association between the yoni and the clitoris or between the prostate and lingam, for example, alternate stimulation between these erogenous zones. To make the association between clitoral or lingam stimulation and orgasm more vivid within the entire body, a man can stroke the inside of the yoni as his partner orgasms through clitoral stimulation. A woman can, on the other hand, stimulate her partner’s prostate as he reaches orgasm through stimulation of his lingam. A man can also awaken his partner’s yoni by sensually massaging it inside and out, while a woman can bring greater genital awareness to her
partner by providing a genital and prostate massage. Additionally, if a woman is able to reach orgasm through pleasuring but not as easily through intercourse, it is possible to develop an association
between the man’s lingam and the woman’s orgasm by placing his lingam inside her yoni as she is cumming. First stimulate the woman’s clitoris to the edge of orgasm, and then slip the lingam into her yoni just prior to orgasm. If these techniques are practiced consistently, the transmitters of pleasure to the brain connect with the particular part of the body that is stimulated, assisting in a repatterning of pleasure sensations.

Group Sex

Group sex may be the most controversial issue in sexuality, as it involves sexual activities that can easily be misconstrued as orgies. Nevertheless, the topic of sexual gatherings is a vital part of the history of sacred sexuality. Ancient cultures have demonstrated that, if done with an elevated intent, such gatherings can be spiritually powerful and result in the experience and integration of ecstatic, loving energy. The difference between a sacred sexual gathering and an orgy is the focus of intent-the same criterion for discerning lovemaking from having sex and self-loving from merely masturbating.

A sacred sexual gathering can take many different forms. But whether three or thirty people share in a gathering, the theme and intent must always be clear, understood, and upheld. In fact, one of the primary purposes behind such gatherings is the development of the self-discipline necessary for the participants to hold their focus despite the obvious potential distractions. Again, the form and details of how such a gathering materializes can vary based on the individuals and their philosophical beliefs. Yet such themes as love, healing, responsibility, trust, and acceptance must remain present for the gathering to be truly a sacred space.

One common ego-oriented pitfall that can surface during sacred sexual gatherings involves the judging of other people-on any level, including physical appearance. Therefore, to preserve the sacredness of the gathering, everyone’s thoughts and words should convey love and respect for all others. Jealousy is
another common obstacle to the success of loving relationships.

Jealousy is perhaps the most debilitating…of emotions. Jealousy is concerned with possessing and controlling another person; it is not an expression of love.
-Diana Richardson (Tantric Orgasm for Women)

The sanctity of privacy is another concern at a sacred sexual gathering. There is a difference between privacy and secrecy, the latter usually involves lying and sneaking, while the former involves respecting boundaries. Respecting the privacy of others requires and encourages all participants to develop trust. Everything shared in a sacred sexual gathering must be honored as private, unless otherwise agreed upon by all persons concerned. In Tantra, a group ceremony is referred to as a “puja.” When done
correctly, a puja incorporates the highest spiritual ideals into an intimate group setting. Its purpose is to transcend the boundaries of social norm, dissolve possessiveness, eliminate jealousy, and put the greater good of the group before any personal agendas. When this ideal is achieved, the rewards are profound and healing for all participants who willingly drop their egos and surrender to the power of joining in oneness.

Threesomes and Groups

The attendees of a true sacred sexual gathering are (and must remain) spiritually mature and emotionally responsible. Their thoughts and intentions are necessarily focused on sharing love and experiencing bliss. Attitudes or emotions that are incongruent with this focus could undermine the atmosphere and spiritual presence desired by the group and necessary to achieve the purpose of the gathering. Participants must therefore remain aware of their inner processings. Any personal issues should be handled appropriately and not be permitted to “spill over” into the sacred circle, acting as an energetic virus to the other participants.

The most excellent place for practicing men is wherever there is a gathering of practicing women; there, all the magical powers will be attained.
-Cakrasamvara Tantra

For a threesome or group to keep the highest intent (holding a focus of love), while avoiding the most common distractions of inhibitions and jealous competition, love must be equal between all parties involved. breasts and genitals. As you receive, be sure to give voice to natural moans and sighs. Playfully kiss, lick, suck, and rub, but do not bring your partner to orgasm. Merely use this playfulness to build more sexual energy.

When sharing such vulnerable aspects of your being with others, especially as a group, some very clear rules and guidelines are necessary. Guidelines include the following:

o Remain in your spiritual center and intention as much as possible. Remind yourself to allow the Divine Presence of God to experience through you.
o Enjoy all sensations, large and small. Moan in appreciation of these sensations.
o Release all thoughts of judgements, goals, and agendas.
o If fears or personal issues arise, move yourself to the side of the room, and do some praying and releasing. Then, if, or when, you feel the time is right, begin self-stimulating and/or move back into the group.

Sexual Ceremony

When individuals join with others who have a similar intent of synchronizing creative love-power and collective orgasm, an intensive level of energetic ecstasy can be built up and channeled for creative manifestation. For an individual or group, sexual creative power is magnified by activating the body’s senses; therefore, it is wise to stimulate as many of the senses as possible in a group’s sexual ceremony. Use flavors in the mouth for taste, aromas for scent, music and moans for sound, massage and caressing for touch, and most of all, visual scenes to create greater arousal. Activating the senses also helps individuals remain focused and present. Once again, a group sexual gathering (or ceremony) might be judged by some as a mere orgy with shallow intentions. As with anything in life, sexual ceremonies can certainly be misused, but when shared properly, these rituals have proven very powerful for ancient and modern practitioners.

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