By: Michael Mirdad
Imagine how it feels physically, energetically, emotionally, and spiritually to have the love essence of every molecule, atom, and sub-atomic particle in the universe dancing with delight to re-join similar love essences within your being. The energetic response is ecstatic! Practicing sacred sexuality and channeling loving energy are highly effective ways to raise our vibrations to the level of embodied “gods and goddesses.”
Science teaches that our physical bodies are not as dense as they appear and that there is more space within our bodies than there is density. Sacred sexuality is about sharing and exploring an intimate relationship with this inner spaciousness beyond the dense, material body. It’s a state of living in the vibration of the soul. It’s about accessing our souls–the parts of us that remember bliss beyond measure. Afterwards, everything we do becomes an experience of union with All That Is.
The term sacred sexuality has many closely related meanings. But since the word sacred refers to “the spirit” and sexuality refers to “the body,” the two words combined describe a merging of the worlds of spirit and matter, or the soul with the body.
Sacred sexuality is about experiencing levels of ecstatic bliss and unconditional love (usually only attainable through prolonged practice of advanced meditation techniques) and, most importantly, bringing these experiences into our daily lives. It’s ultimately about living bliss and not just feeling it. In practicing sacred sexuality, we learn to live within the material world while integrating an experience and vibration beyond this world–one that feels ecstatic and almost uncontainable. This vibration translates into consistently feeling unconditional love for all people and things, which is why it can be called living bliss.
In sacred sexuality, all aspects (physical, energetic, emotional, mental, and spiritual) of our beings are utilized to arouse the fullest experience possible. With this higher focus, we become keenly aware that we are all more than bodies. With the increased depth and sacredness, it becomes easier to open our hearts and allow our partners into the sacred spaces of our souls. Then sexual ecstasy occurs at the point when our bodies are merging with spirit, as we disappear as individuals and become one with everything.
Contrary to most beliefs, the true practitioners of sacred sexuality are not obsessing on sexual intercourse. Instead, they are using the act of sensual expression as a means to unveil themselves–on their own or with others–and are doing so with the most vulnerable aspect of their beings, their sexual selves. Sacred sexuality offers an expansive experience based on mutual love, acceptance, and authenticity.
Sacred sexuality allows us to deepen pleasure, expand orgasms, and broaden our ideas of pleasuring beyond, but not excluding, intercourse. It also deepens the purpose of lovemaking beyond bodily connecting to include joining emotionally and spiritually with our partners. With a willingness to bring our higher selves (hearts and souls) to the sharing of our emotions and bodies, we reach new levels of Divine Presence.
The practice of sacred sexuality requires the self-awareness and maturity to follow a few simple principles and to set healthy boundaries. The essential principles are Safety, Responsibility, Communication, Trust, and Surrender.
It’s not uncommon for people to describe their more favorable sexual experiences as “great sex.” Yet, few have any idea how great a sexual experience can be and live with a limited understanding about sexuality. One example is that of Marilyn Monroe, who projected the image of a sexual goddess but is said to have had a history of sexual abuse that undoubtedly contributed to her claim to have never had an orgasm.
Generally speaking, there are two different types of sexual experiences. One focuses on what might be called the “heights of sex,” often referred to as “great sex,” while the other accesses the “depths” of sex, which is sacred sexuality. A relationship that emphasizes the heights of sex focuses mainly on stimulation and nervous system response. This experience is merely “having sex.” It is referred to in yogic traditions as tamas, or sex of a shallow consciousness. It arises from unfulfilled fantasy and addictive behaviors, rather than from conscious sharing with a partner. It stresses quantity over quality. The heights of the sexual experience are usually measured by the intensity and quantity of stimulation and the success of orgasms, which is like judging the quality of food by the quantity ingested. Such stimulation has a “hot” energy and is focused on excitation of the clitoris or penis, while the depths of sex have a “warm or cool” energy and focus on the ecstasy released between the heart and breasts, as well as the energetic aspects of the genitals. Encounters focusing on the heights of sex could be defined as physically intense and stimulating, but emotionally and spiritually shallow.
A relationship focusing on the depths of sex, on the other hand, accesses the soul of both partners. It is known as “making love,” and is referred to in yogic traditions as sattva, or sex that is wholistic. The depths of sex encourage both partners to make use of their bodies, minds, and souls to access each other’s heart. This type of interaction between partners provides the safety to explore the darker issues and inhibitions that may arise during a truly intimate sexual experience.
The heights of sex stir us to quickly remove the clothes of our lovers before having sex. The depths of sacred sex encourage us to dress them afterwards. The heights draw us to kiss them numerous times on the way to orgasm, but the depths stir us to kiss them afterwards. The heights stir us to reach for their genitals, but the depths encourage us to reach for their hearts.
It should be noted that both the heights and depths of sex can be very addictive. Sexual addiction and other forms of shallow sex often result from a desire to hide or escape from issues that need healing. The potential addictions behind sexual heights are rooted in personal dysfunction. Behind every shallow sexual interaction, there hides a person who does not want to see or be seen at a deeper level. In such cases, sex is used as a distraction. Until we realize that we are the “other person” we’ve been looking for, others will eventually leave us feeling empty.
On the other hand, the reason that sexual depths can be addictive is easily understandable. Although sexual heights offer intense levels of sexual stimulation that can leave us wanting more, the depths of sex offer a connection of body, mind, and soul that can be all encompassing. In other words, although stimulation can feel good, bliss feels great! Experiencing the depths of sexual bliss, especially for the first time, feels like the voice of God calling us home. There is an undeniable sense of completeness. We long to make this experience an integrated part of our lives. Of course, we can also become attached to anyone (partners, healers or teachers) who assists us in this awakening, but as we make this blissful state a part of our own consciousness, we realize that attaching our feelings to others is pointless.
If sex, in and of itself, were magical, there would be a lot of enlightened porn-stars in the world. On the contrary, without a spiritual and loving intent, sex limits the expression of our True Self and becomes a form of self-condemnation. In other words, sex without depth of consciousness is not only valueless but destructive as well. Conscious sex, on the other hand, is one of the finest rewards on the path to enlightenment. Thus, the practice of sacred sexuality can be summarized as a process designed to deepen your connection to the Spirit of Love and to awaken your physical body–allowing this temple to become as passionate and alive as God originally intended it to be.